Love Perhaps

I was lying down on my bed after a tiring day. I'm rushing to finish my final year project which is supposed to due before chinese new year. In all my hecticness, i realise that there is still a hole in my life. To be precise, a hole in my heart , a hollow in my soul. Sometimes after a series of intense agitation, i would like to be left alone. To enjoy a moment of serenity with my confused mind. At that moment, i really wish that you were here. It doesn't matter whether you talk to me or not. Your presence is more than what i asked for.

I do not know how many have experience the feeling i'm experiencing now. Your presence is irreplaceable. One of my best buddy told me that,they will always be there for me. I still have them. I never for once suspected that my friends will leave me especially after such a torment I've gone through. I trusted you guys more than anything. To be honest, there's a feeling that you guys cannot deliver to me. Only she can do it.

It is not the emptiness in life that I'm talking about. Is it a feeling of belonging? I can't tell.

That emptiness I'm feeling is beyond words. Sometimes i felt that emptiness might even not be the word but it is definitely the best word.

I really wish that i can hear from you everyday. But something is pulling me back. Is it that I've lost trust in love? Is it that I no longer possessed the power to pursue? Or maybe i'm just a coward. Too afraid to be hurt again.