Thursday, August 21, 2008

Writing

I'm in office now. It had been raining the whole day. My brain is so damn lazy to work. I think i'm not alone. My colleagues all seem very dreamy and floaty. Surprisingly, i'm not the last to reach the office. Those who are earlier than me in most of the days are later than me and my boss is not here yet. It is 12.14pm now. My brain is not focusing on what I am suppose to do today. I'm thinking of yesterday. My phone conversation and msn conversation last night. My meeting last night and what am i going to do tomorrow morning. It is out of focus. I just wanna think about yesterday and tomorrow and not today. I had no idea why is my brain rejecting today's thoughts. Is it because there's nothing to worry today or Is it because it can sense more coming tomorrow from what happen yesterday. Chim bo? I never expect a lazy brain at this moment can suddenly come out with such chim question for itself.

How to settle? I can only watch my steps and move on. Not that i can predict. I actually had this thought that i can predict future. Of cos most of them is about myself. It was until this morning when i had a long chat wif my long time best buddy XW that i realised something important in life. I realised the secret on how i can predict my future. Simply because i'm writing the story of my life. I decide what i want to do. I decide when to let go and when to stay on. I decide when patience is needed and when i should whacked the table and turned my back around. That is life.

Sometimes we judged others. We claimed that they are stupid or they had no principle in life. But we don't write their story. We just read their story. They wrote it themself. What we can see is those that were written and not those that is going to be write. We can copy and paste than edit from others but the conclusion remains. We can help others write their life. But when we help them, we are writing it into our life too. So it is always up to us to decide when the full stop comes in. Sigh...i'm still thinking how to write my life tomorrow.

Miracles and Coincidences are some additional bonuses in life. It is not something that you write. It is something that came up after u finish planning what to write. Trust me. Miracles and Coincidences always add spices into your writing. Whether it is good or bad, it always flamboyantly colour your nicely jotted draft. So when u nicely plan your ending, it might turn ugly or beautiful. That is what you call risk in life. Haha.

One more thing that can spoil your beautiful ending is when someone else put a pen into your draft. Or when someone else's ending which coexist with yours contradicts with yours. Or when someone pour a bucket of paint into your writing. Worst of all, is when you don't even know why. That is when your are lost. Haha. Life is difficult.

Therefore i find it foolish to plan ahead. But if you don't plan, you had no vision. I think we should aim for a target and plan for each day. Don't aim for a target and had the whole journey written. We might end up in a cave.

No matter how good a writer can be, there are always obstacles and miracles that will flourish the smooth writing.

Monday, August 18, 2008

In KL

Yes..I'm back in KL. I believed someone must be happily celebrating because Ban is back in KL. I also believed there must be someone who is sad because I'm back in KL. Haha. Anyway, I'm back in KL. Back to those 9am - 6pm days. Argh... I tell you more about my trip in Penang the next time. Now wanna sleep already. Tomorrow is working day again. Zzz......

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Lazy Bun

I'm very lazy these days. So lazy to blog and so lazy for so many things. I only wanna enjoy my days in Penang. To those who didn't know, I'm in Penang now. I'm going back KL this Sunday morning. Those in KL that is missing me, don't worry, I'll be back soon. Just hold on to it. Muahaha..

Actually i miss KL a lot. KL might be a scary place for a lot of people but not for me. It is a place where i found peace and enjoyment. Maybe I'm really sick and tired of Penang. Those endless drama and torment I've experience and still experiencing is really making me nausea.

Human brain is so funny. When you consciously know that you shouldn't be doing something, you still want to do it subconsciously. Why? Why? Why!!!!! I'm really going to be schizo freak if this goes on. When you are drunk, are you doing things consciously or subconsciously? I also dunno la..So sick of it..Don't want to ruin my night by thinking those unnecessaries. Anyway, those who are in Penang now and want to meet up with me, please call me. I don't have a car!!! Argh!!! I had never experience car-less since 5 years ago when i had my SLK (Small Little Kancil). Kakaka...Now my Hyundai is almost dead. So I can quite officially announced that i'm CAR-LESS! Well of course unless i manage to revive my Hyundai. LOL.

Anyway, life is beautiful in KL. Maybe because I'm thoroughly sick with Penang. Therefore i see KL as a place i managed to seek peacefulness and serenity in life. Ironic right? KL life is supposed to be hectic and fast-moving-pace but to me it is the speed, the acceleration that i enjoy. The challenge I will face. That is where I found myself. The place where my brain is enjoying itself to the fullest.

Haha...Seriously i feel like time is rotting away when I'm in Penang. I see the same familiar face everywhere. Even the ah lians and ah bengs all look the same. Taxi driver all look so familiar. It is like i just saw them puffing in some coffee shop the day before. Even the beggars all look the same. Arghhh.....maybe you will see me complaining these in future but that time, it will be a different venue I'm complaining about. LOL.

Let me summarize my stay in Penang for the passed week with a similar word.

Disappointment

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

How Am I Supposed To Live Without You ?

I could hardly believe it
When I heard the news today
I had to come and get it straight from you
They said you were leavin'
Someone swept you heart away
From the look upon your face I see it's true
So tell me all about it, tell me 'bout the plans you're makin'
Then tell me one thing more before I go

Chorus:
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you
Now that I've been lovin' you so long
How am I supposed to live without you
How am I supposed to carry on
When all that I've been livin' for is gone

I didn't come here for cryin'
Didn't come here to breakdown
It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end
An how can I blame you
When I built my world around
The hope that someday we'd be so much more than friends
And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming
When even now it's more than I can take

Chorus

And I don't wanna face the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming
Now that your dream has come true

Chorus

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Dying To Live

I was listening to this song just now. Even when i haven't listen to it, the lyrics already caught my attention. Maybe a lot of you had already listen to it on radio but i'm not an English radio channel fan. I listen to 988. Haha. Even though I'm a banana, i like Chinese radio channels because they had more jokes and facts to listen to. Anyway, the song name is Dying to Live and it is by Jonny Lang.

Why am I fighting to live
If I'm just living to fight
Why am I trying to see
When there ain't nothing in sight
Why am I trying to give
When no one gives me a try
Why am I dying to live
If I'm just living to die

SO TRUE!!!

Sorry folks...i couldn't put the song here for u all to listen because it wasn't on imeem.

Full credits given to Shu for introducing this song to me..

Check out more about Jonny Lang here.